How to Have a Money Date: The Key to a Stronger Financial Partnership
Money is one of the leading causes of stress in relationships, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, when handled with intentionality, money can actually bring couples closer together. That’s why I’m a big fan of “Money Dates.” These are regular, intentional times where you and your spouse sit down, talk about your finances, and make sure you’re both on the same page. Think of it as a date night, but with a budget spreadsheet!
If you’ve never had a Money Date before, or if the idea of talking about finances makes you a little nervous, you’re not alone. I used to struggle with these conversations myself. For years, I thought I had a handle on our finances, but I didn’t. My wife, Annette, and I had our fair share of financial stress before we found a system that worked for us. So, let me walk you through what a Money Date can look like and how it can strengthen your relationship, just like it did for us.
Step 1: Schedule It Like a Real Date
A Money Date isn’t something you do on a whim. It’s important to be intentional, so set a specific time to sit down together. Once a month works for most couples, but you can do it as often as you need. The key is consistency. Just like you’d put date night on the calendar, schedule your Money Date, too.
Choose a time and place that’s comfortable and free from distractions. Maybe it’s at the dining table after the kids are in bed, or perhaps you prefer grabbing a cup of coffee at your favorite cafe. Wherever you decide, make it feel special—like you’re investing in each other’s future, not just checking a task off the list.
Step 2: Create a Relaxed and Positive Atmosphere
Money talks don’t have to be tense or stressful. Approach your Money Date with a positive, relaxed mindset. This isn’t the time to criticize or blame; it’s a time to come together as a team. Remember, the goal is to grow closer and work towards shared goals.
You might want to start with a few minutes of light conversation or something fun, like sharing a favorite memory or talking about a future dream you both have. When you associate these talks with something positive, it makes it easier to approach them with an open heart and mind.
Step 3: Review the Budget Together
Now, onto the numbers! If you’re following a budgeting plan like the one outlined by Dave Ramsey, you should already have a monthly budget. Pull it out and go over it together. Look at how you’re doing with your spending categories, check your progress toward financial goals, and see where you may need to make adjustments.
Here are some questions to guide your discussion:
- Are we on track with our spending and saving goals?
- Did we stay within our budget for each category last month?
- Are there any unexpected expenses coming up?
- Are there areas we can adjust to save more?
This is a great time to celebrate wins, too! If you paid down some debt or hit a savings goal, take a moment to acknowledge that progress. Every step you take towards financial freedom is worth celebrating.
Step 4: Discuss Goals and Dreams
Money Dates aren’t just about crunching numbers; they’re about dreaming together. Take some time to talk about your financial goals and long-term dreams. Do you want to be debt-free? Save for a house? Give more generously? Discussing your dreams not only helps you stay motivated but also reinforces your shared vision for the future.
Annette and I have found that when we talk about our dreams—like taking a family vacation, giving to causes we care about, or building a legacy for our kids—it gives meaning to the sacrifices we’re making. Financial freedom isn’t just about having money; it’s about having the freedom to pursue what matters most.
Step 5: End on a Positive Note
As your Money Date wraps up, finish with encouragement and gratitude. Thank each other for showing up, being open, and working together. These conversations can be challenging at times, but they’re so worth it. You’re building a stronger partnership and setting the stage for a healthier financial future.
Bonus Tips for Successful Money Dates
Keep it Simple: You don’t have to cover every single financial detail in one sitting. Focus on the key points and leave the rest for another date if needed.
Stay Open and Non-Judgmental: Money can be a sensitive topic, so approach the conversation with grace and understanding.
Use Tools: Use a budgeting app or a spreadsheet to help you stay organized. Seeing the numbers in black and white can make the conversation easier.
Why Money Dates Are Worth It
Having regular Money Dates with your spouse is one of the best ways to maintain financial unity. It’s about so much more than just managing money. These conversations are opportunities to build trust, share your hopes, and make sure you’re moving forward together.
Annette and I didn’t start out with financial harmony, but over time, these intentional conversations brought us closer and transformed our financial journey. Now, I want to help other couples experience that same transformation. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need guidance, I’d love to help you get started on a path to financial freedom.
Ready to take control of your finances together?
Start scheduling your own Money Dates, and if you need support along the way, consider reaching out for a free consultation. You don’t have to do this alone—let’s work together to create a brighter financial future for your family.
Money Dates can be a powerful tool in strengthening both your financial health and your relationship. So go ahead—schedule that first date, make it fun, and start building a stronger financial partnership with your spouse.
